So, I managed to survive V’s babyhood and have apparently suffered amnesia, because J and I have decided to have another child. This wasn’t decided lightly, I am basically going to grit my teeth and try to survive with my sanity intact while I’m pregnant and then for the first 6 or so months the new little one is around.
In my more optimistic moments, I think that maybe this new baby won’t be so very bad at being an infant, like V was. After all, some babies are content babies. I’ve seen babies sleep through a 3-hour party with screaming toddlers. Not V. V pretty much cried, ate, and slept almost every hour until she was four months old. I think I held her 10-12 hours a day, often falling asleep on the couch while feeding her or letting her sleep on my lap. Maybe baby #2 will actually sleep in crib, or the bouncy seat, or in a box, or with a fox, or in a house, or with a mouse, or somewhere, anywhere(!) other than on my person. Otherwise, I am not sure how I am going to manage a screaming infant and a demanding 2.5-year-old.
This post from Dooce really struck a chord with me. That feeling of absolute panic at the first whimper, knowing that it either meant listening to crying and screaming, or being trapped on the couch under a very small body for a very long time…yeah, I remember that. The groan of ‘oh, no…’ when you’ve just fallen asleep and the baby starts crying, again.
I hope that ‘Precon’, as the not-yet-conceived-baby-#2 has been dubbed, will sleep, and will be content in other arms besides mine. I hope V is good at being a big sister; we hope that she will be nearly three when Precon comes along. But also, I look forward to watching V have a little sister or brother, and having a new little person in our house. I live, live! for 18 months. It’s a pretty great time. V just started talking and being able to really talk with her is great. Plus, there’s way less crying at 18 months than during babyhood. If I could give birth to an 18-month-old, I would.
Some things I know that I will do differently: there will be more pumping, and more bottles given in the middle of the night; the monitor will not be right on my night-table, the dresser is plenty close enough; I will probably measure the time the baby cries in minutes and not seconds; I will remember to pee before I go in and pick up the baby; I will give in sooner and drive the baby around to get him/her to sleep if that’s what it takes.
But, we know we want him or her to be part of our family. This baby will be different from V, with a different personality, and we will get through the baby phase and then get to know the little person who has joined us. Who knows, maybe the baby phase will even be pleasant!